Baby its cold outside!

I have a feeling. The cold has frozen my brain. From the inside and the outside.It is a solid mass of hard cold rock with a thick layer of snow on the outside. Enveloping this layer is a semi solid water bag with tiny bubbles of frozen air too cold to move freely. On the extreme outside is a thin layer of ice which can be cracked with a soft poke of the finger. The skull doesn't exist, I think. I can't think actually. Severe weather conditions inside my head have made it a little difficult to make sense of the world. Everything is foggy, smoggy and sleepy.

It has been four years since I last spent substantial time in this wintered city. I am still trying to find traces of November romance in adverse January. Having returned after so long, I am also being returned to some thoughts, theories and experiences which have been timelessly typical to Delhi winters. They are as follows:

1. People who claim to bathe everyday or bathe in cold water are liars.

2. It is very important to spit out the green phlegm that winter cough and cold throws up in your nose and throat. I know it is very cold and you would rather park your ass in your bed and blanket and swallow the mucus back, too lazy to throw it out at the moment. But you just have to battle that feeling  Every Single Time! 

3. Don't feel shy blowing your nose in public. Remember to use paper tissues. No sweater sleeve please.

4. Make use of bonfires. The trick it to light up post midnight. Stand really close facing your palms to it. Once the front half of your body is warmed up, jump around to heat up the back. Switch back when required. Don't try too often or too fast, you may feel dizzy and fall into the bonfire. (remember to trip over the beautiful embers though)

5. Do not try to weigh yourself in the winter. The only way to know your reality is to stand naked on the weighing machine, early in the morning, right after taking a hot water shower. 

Among other things:

6. Cuddle up shady with the person next to you. Body warmth does wonders.

7. Find ways of keeping the toilet pot warm. 

8. Find an electric hot water bottle. Don't share.

8. Fight with your roommates, friends, siblings over hot water they used which you had heated for hours.

9. Count the number of chai/coffee cups you consume in a day.

10.Talk about the cold like you talk about the heat in the summer

11. Curse the sun. Love the sun.

12, Take care of your frozen brain.

13. Enjoy the song:

Borrowed Camera Photography

Everyday we spend two hours in the sun. This is perhaps the most pleasant time of my wintered days. She wears her name on her fingers and laughs that everyone in her family has the same name. I had cracked this joke a few days back. Now its Ours.

Poppy Shame

I was driving back home. At a busy junction where I usually turn left to my colony, I was stopped by a scooter standing in my way. The man next to it signaled me to wait. I acknowledged his request and upon realizing that a favorite was playing on the radio, increased the volume. Suddenly I got embarrassed - I had caught my self singing too loudly and there were lots of people around. I'm sure most of them were not even looking but it made me uneasy. Slightly. I reduced the volume and decided I had been waiting for longer than expected. I looked up to honk at the man with the scooter. He stood there with his helmet on, opened his belt, unbuttoned his trousers, zipped down, tucked his shirt in and repeated the steps backwards. He signaled me (again!) to wait, casually turned around, sat on his scooter and rode away.

The shock of what I had just seen in broad daylight slowly turned into an ironic smile. I remembered a remark a friend had once made - unlike men, women are socialized to feel shame. I laughed to myself, shook my head and decided to move on. I put the car in gear, pressed the clutch and before I could accelerate, an obnoxious black skoda with blaring music shamelessly zipped pass me.

Micropoetry

Lets partner
And never be honest enough

Mar Gaya Saala

I will openly write about his death. I will openly say he should have died long time back. I will read other people's posts on this. I will like them and comment on them. I will agree with them and pass them on. I will have conversations, hold discussions, send emails, messages, scream slogans and or do whatever the hell I want to do. Come arrest me if you want.

The Rockstar of my film!

Suddenly remembered how I bullied him into singing a song for me on camera. 

I think it happened a year ago 

Slight Alteration

You are allowed to call it a Sea Crush if it happens between 15th October and 15th November.

You need not be next to the sea. Strictly for people 25 yrs and above.

I have three at the moment :)

Do Plateon Wala Baaja

Today I spent time in the sun with Ram. She offered to oil my hair and I jumped at the opportunity. I sat on a low mudda in front of her and held the oil bottle. He poured a little on her palm and softly caressed my hair. I never realized her touch was so soft. She told me to cut my hair. I reminded her she wanted me to grow it. She got confused. Less than a minute and we were done. I protested. She protested. Her hands start hurting after a while, she said. I took her hands in mine and started to press them. She wanted a massage instead. I laughed. I ran inside enthusiastically and reappeared with a moisturizer. This time I massaged her. Her feet, her arms, her legs. All dry. Her parched skin soaked the cream rapidly. We talked about a vegetable. She explained a recipe. By now her skin was beaming in the sun. I proceeded with removing her rings to reach between her fingers. Smaller parts of her I had not touched. As she spoke about the first time she used a two piece telephone, my fingers ran over the bulging veins. Beautiful green veins protruding from her paper skin. I decided to go a little strong. It hurt her. She abused me in Derawali. I laughed and told her she needed to be stronger.

We sat quietly before she remembered something that she had left behind in Pakistan. Lost in the kaleidoscope of her million gleaming wrinkles I looked up at her. She said she had left behind 'do plateon wala baaja.' If we still had it, she calculated, we could have earned a lakh from it.

Your Laughter

Laugh at the night,
at the day, at the moon,
laugh at the twisted
streets of the island,
laugh at this clumsy boy
who loves you,
but when I open
my eyes
and close them,
when my steps go
when my steps return,
deny me bread, air,
light, spring
but never your laughter
for I would die.

-- Pablo Neruda

Ha! I'm not 25 anymore!

I woke up this morning and made the following observations about my life:

1. I'm 26 now and really 26 does not have as much character as 25. I dont think I can write revelations about this age like I could two days back. 26 is irrelevant. Like Tuesdays. (two of my friends recently talked about Tuesdays) Can be easily be deleted from our lives without much damage.

2. The happiest time of the year for me is 15th October to 15th November.

3. I have been thinking of buying a new camera, an edit machine and a smart phone. I tell myself I can only have one of the three things. I have no money so my rich relatives may have to contribute. I also tell myself that I must not become an Apple whore. I have been having this conversation with myself for a year now.

4. Its also been a year since I started writing this blog. READ THIS I never thought I'd last. I did. Hi!

5. My friends think my blog is just like me (errr who else is it supposed to be like?) Someone laughed and said it was so punjabi (spl reference to the choice of the backdrop) and then some one laughed at the very name. Really? Dude Chotusing. Gao beta Gao! IS SUCH A FANTASTIC NAME!


Now time to show off. A recent masterpiece. I call it 'borrowed camera photography'
Special Diwali Gifts for those who guess what this is :)