March 24, 2012

Bhartiya Rail Suvidha

Elements you find on the train. Planted in every compartment. Almost like a conspiracy. You'll find them no matter which class or train you travel by. No matter which city you go to. These are, as follows:

1. The Child: It screams, it whines, it eats, it shits (it gets escorted to the loo by poor old mother). It asks. It cries and cries and cries. Loud. louder, loudest! It tries to create a ruckus around the train. Parents think co passengers find IT cute. And you sit fuming in your berth. Its not your fault. You're just lucky to get stuck with a child every single time. It finds its way to you.

2. The Aunty: Mostly found reading her Sarita or Grah Shobha, she carries a big plastic bag full of food. If found to be Sindhi or Gujju, she'll have enough supply of khakra, bhujiya and namkeen to feed the entire train. She makes sure her family gets ghar ka khana even when not at home. She carries aachar and paper plates as well.

3. The Bhaiyaji: He hates being called bhaiya. But loves his phone. Because he has music on it. Music that he can blare out and loud for others to hear. He doesn't like his ear phones though. He has a list of once popular but now forgotten old hindi songs. Since that is his only mode of entertainment, he plays them ALL THE TIME! Loud enough to reach 15-15 people on each side of his berth.

4. The Rich College Kid: This kid is too cool. He doesn't talk to anyone. He likes his ipod and earphones. Always plugged in, a book or a magazine in hand and eyes romantically staring outside the window. These types  are often the ones who have to exchange berths with oldies who are too old to climb to the upper berths.

5. The Antakshari/ Taash Gang: They are the happiest of the lot. They have a gang and they have things to do.These types are loud, friendly and most annoying. They sing the same old songs stuck to the same old letters,  in the same old baritone. They think they are on a picnic. They have friends and families in other compartments having their own picnic. They, ofcourse, have to be visited as often as possible.

6. The Uncle who talks too loudly: Unlike the lover types who whisper into the phone, so soft that you can barely eavesdrop, these loud uncles are the least self conscious people on the train. They don't care if the whole compartment knows what they say to their wives, colleagues or the persons who will receive them at the station. They are so comfortable. No boundaries. Personal is public.

(The train who have been a quieter place had it not been for the bloody phones)

7. They - who snore: They start their business at 8.30 itself. Sometime even before the ice cream arrives. And they are at it the whole night long. As the night deepens, people from other berths join in, quite unintentionally. They have the talent of putting together an orchestra. The worst orchestra on earth. With different sounds, volumes and styles. They are the most disgusting. And if you don't have music and ear phones to drain out their symphonies, good luck to you!

Then there are the regular cuties who believe in befriending the housekeeping/pantry guys to extract extra favors, those who follow the TC (why do people call him TT?) to get a confirmed seat, those who dodge him to quickly smoke in the loo or hang outside the door. And finally those who just sleep from the minute they enter the train. Whats your type?

4 comments:

Anand said...

I identify with "The Rich College Kid" (But I was never rich). I loved my earphones and my Nokia music express phone (see see see no ipod. Not rich)

I was once stuck with a huge uncle-ji who snored the hell out of the compartment. and he even shrilled and screamed in his sleep. His wife tried to wake him up to no avail. Later, when he woke up. He coyly apologized saying that it was his medical condition.

Tilpu said...

Hahhaha.. that soo funny Anand!
I'm a sleep talker too. Not in trains I hope.
Are you a sleep walker/talker?

Neha Bhatt said...

hahaha. I wake up they-who snore and shush them!

Tilpu said...

Nehaaaa.... soooo good to see you here! I can almost imagine you shushing people in the train! :)